Thursday, April 19, 2012

Bunny Brain


I must tell you I had the strangest dream the other night.  No, no, no it was nothing like that…don’t look at me so!  If I tell you, you must promise not to try and analyze me like last time.  That never works out.  I end up looking daft for what I’ve confessed, and you look like a right twit trying to figure me out.  The faster you admit that you’ll never know a woman’s mind the smarter you’ll appear in the long run.  

It all started when I ate a rabbit the other day.  Have you had rabbit before?  Let me tell you they are delectable.  I’ve had white ones, brown ones, but no matter the color they are simply divine!  Why are you looking at me with that scrunched up face?  I swear your eyebrows couldn’t knit together more evenly had my Great Gran done it herself!  Oh I get it…  Well before you give me the, “Why would you’s” and the “How could you’s” you know that people were eating all kinds of things like that before we had Supermarkets.  Where do you think the meat in such places comes from?  Did you think it was magic; some kind of Geni?  We remove ourselves from part of the equation, get someone else to do the dirty work, but that doesn’t make it equal out to a different outcome for those critters.  You see what I’m saying?

Anyhow, so in the dream I am being attacked by bunnies, and… What are you laughing for?  You think people can’t be attacked by those masses of soft fur?  I tell you those little creatures aren’t as innocent as they appear!  All long ears, pink noses, whiskers swishing to and fro…there’s got to be something to that don’t you think?  Who do they think they are fooling with those cute little fluffy tails?  Do you know how fast rabbits replicate? 

I know what you are thinking.  Serves me right for putting Peter Cottontail on a platter, time for me to get my just deserts right?  Well I did put it into the dark freezer; I like to think it brings out the flavor you see.  But it wasn’t like he was alone was he?  He had the peas and carrots right beside him to keep him company; it was more than most had.  Besides, it wasn’t like his stay would be a long one was it?  ‘Tis the feasting season and all that.

You’re still looking at me funny…Do I have chocolate on my face?  I just finished up the last of the rabbit before I got here.